How to tackle Imposter Syndrome
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The talk about Imposter Syndrome continues - Not only does it seem to be a rather present topic in the entrepreneurial space but also many female leaders can sing a song about it. I have to yet meet a woman who would say “I know I don’t have it”. There’s a lot of misunderstanding out there about imposter syndrome, and it is often being used as an excuse NOT to go after your goals or apply for that job or even just starting a new hobby.
Very often someone would say, “Yeah No, that’s too scary, I can’t do that because I have huge Imposter Syndrome!”. So before we dive in deeper let me tell you this: Having Imposter Syndrome does not mean you cannot do something. You’re not a victim to it. What it does mean is that you have a set of belief and behaviour patterns that make you feel incapable. Which is totally changeable.
Imposter Syndrome can be described as the fear of being called out as a fraud, as those who have it struggle to own their successes and believe they are actually good at what they do. It’s a form of self-doubt that can even cause anxiety, and depression and lead to burnout.
Some research by Clance and Imes in 1978, shed light on the core aspects of Imposter Syndrome. It highlighted that individuals experiencing this phenomenon often attribute their success to luck or external factors rather than acknowledging their own competence and skills. This fear of being “found out” as an imposter can then lead to anxiety, depression and even burnout.
Whilst everyone can have Imposter Syndrome irregardless of their gender, it tends to have a special impact on women. Not surprisingly this is due to societal expectations and outdated gender roles where we have already come far, but also still have a long path in front of us.
No matter the gender though, in a nutshell it’s basically a collection of different behaviour patterns that include for example setting unattainable standards, never feeling capable enough, consistent self-doubt, high self-criticism, not being able to accept compliments and tending to downplay oneself, having a tough time to internalise success and putting it down to external factors like supportive colleagues or even luck and a tendency to overwork to prove ones own worthiness.
I personally have a long history with Imposter Syndrome, when working in finance I never felt good or smart enough for the positions I held because I took a completely different route than everyone else, constantly fearing someone would say all I do is bullshitting and therefore doubling my work to prove that I actually am worthy and good enough. Which led to burnout. And still nowadays as a business owner, I do sometimes struggle with it and have to actively work through it the same way I will share with you in this article. Especially, when we start something new I find that we often expect that we already need to know everything. We don’t give ourselves the grace and time of being a beginner, and rather force ourselves to be the best and push harder. Which doesn’t sound very fun, does it.
Luckily, as Imposter Syndrome is basically a collection of different behaviour patterns fuelled by limiting beliefs, this also means we have the power to break out of it and change how we lead ourselves in our life and at work.
As with the change of any behaviour pattern, this as well cannot just be fixed overnight. It always comes back to the continuous practice of shifting your belief and behaviour system over time. Experiencing setbacks along the way is totally normal and to be expected. The key is to rinse and repeat the following steps. I do want to point out that this is not a one-size fits all process, but it will give you a good starting point to work on overcoming it and no longer playing victim to a syndrome.
Step 1: Increase your awareness of when your Imposter Syndrome kicks in.
Become extra aware of when you are experiencing fear of being called out, or feeling not good enough or valuable enough. The more awareness you have of your specific behaviour patterns, thoughts, beliefs, habits or routines that lead to those feelings of inadequacy the easier it will be to know what you want to change.
In addition to knowing when and how it happens, it’s valuable to know what exactly it feels like, overtime and thanks to social conditioning we unlearned how to properly describe specific emotions. There are many more feelings that you can experience than just good and bad. For example you might feel anxious, dreadful, griefing, blissful, expansive or joyful.
Here are some tips on how to practise this awareness:
You can do this preemptively before a specific event when you know the Imposter Saboteur might pop up, during the event if you catch yourself, or after reflection of your day. In addition, I would invite you to also name the emotions you have experienced in the event and if you can note down the exact thoughts you had. For example “I shouldn’t be this successful, I don’t know shit”
Step 2: Release these thoughts to start breaking through the behaviour patterns
Before we just dive into doing things differently we got to release the root cause of it, otherwise you just plug the leaves of all the weeds in the garden, but not their roots, and they just come back.
After you write down the thoughts and beliefs that pop up for you in the moments of Imposter Syndrome, where they come from. Any limiting beliefs are born in the past, most likely in your priming period up to the age of seven. Perhaps your parents always had really high standards on you, or only praised you for work well done and punished you when you failed and you internalised this conditioning.
Ask yourself if all of these thoughts and beliefs are really true, are they actual facts. And my guess is that they’re probably not. So work your way through debunking these beliefs. If you experience rage towards yourself for thinking these thoughts, remember to be kind to yourself, and don’t subconsciously keep on fuelling the fire of this self-sabotaging behaviour. I like to do a mini forgiveness ritual with the Hawaiian Ho’Oponopono method. It helped me to forgive especially grudges I held towards myself, but of course towards others and to truly release them. So when you find those core memories or specific thought patterns, debunk them and then add to it the words “I’m sorry, forgive me, thank you, I love you”. You may also repeat them to yourself as many times as you like. The key is to loosen and eventually break the ties to these limiting beliefs, and make room to replace them with empowering ones instead.
For example, the belief of I shouldn’t be this successful, I don’t know shit” may become “I know I am capable and smart, I deserve to be here and do what I do and I trust myself”
Step 3: Recreate your new reality and version of yourself
To take it a step further from shifting the thought pattern you also need to take proactive action. What I would recommend any client to do for example is to write a list with a minimum of 5 things you are grateful for achieving to refuel your confidence and self-belief.
The other actions include anything that will help you to break the old patterns, for example if you tend to downplay compliments you receive, receive them with thanks instead and celebrate them. Or when you find yourself doubting your abilities again, remind yourself of everything you have already accomplished and that you deserve to be where you are.
Switching from the old patterns and behaviours takes time, again this is not an overnight fix, but requires practice and consistency. And I’m not saying this to discourage you, but with this fast-changing environment that we live in nowadays we tend to expect everything to happen extra quickly, but that’s just not how it works in reality.
Think of it this way, you have spent years and years to train your current belief system, your brain runs it on autopilot and it knows it so well. Of course it will take time to unlearn all of that and to learn a new pattern. But you can do it, because you already have done it before.
Action steps
Set your intention of how you want to live and be with this new thought and behaviour pattern. Decide now, whether you keep on giving your power away, or whether you start reclaiming it. Then, go ahead and create an accomplishment list to collect proof that you are incredibly smart and capable of doing what you do. Celebrate your wins, what comes easy and naturally to you, learn from setbacks, and most importantly be kind to yourself. Because you deserve to be treated well.
Also do repeat the steps of recognising, releasing and recreating whenever you notice the old thoughts popping up. They might not ever fully disappear but know that that’s normal. As you grow and evolve so will your circumstances and challenges, but you have all the tools to overcome them all.
As a quick expert tip: you can also apply this simple trick: Whatever thought of self-doubt comes up, debunk it by re-affirming the opposite and remind yourself with proof why the doubtful thought isn’t true.
To sum it up:
-Imposter Syndrome, in a nutshell is a set of trained behaviours and beliefs combined with the fear of being exposed as a fraud being successful, and can often lead to self-doubt, anxiety, and burnout.
-Common traits include setting unattainable standards, persistent self-doubt, high self-criticism, and difficulty internalising success
-The 3 steps to overcome it based on my personal experience as someone who has worked through it for years and my professional experience as a coach working with clients are: Recognise when it pops up and create awareness, Release the old belief system and behaviour patterns and recreate your new system in a way that serves you best and makes you a confident leader in your field.
- Last but not least, again this change requires time and consistency, but don’t let that dishearten you and celebrate every single win, no matter how small you may think it is!
Click the button below if you want to work with me to nip the imposter in the butt and start living a life with less self-doubt and more confidence in yourself.
