Rather than copy-pasting what everyone else’s doing - re-build the trust in yourself!
Throughout my life, the one thing that has always catapulted my journey into the next era, was to trust myself and do what I knew would make me the happiest. I wasn’t always successful in doing this, because like you I’m a human being and we all make mistakes, so there were definitely moments when I knew “Oh I could have done this differently” or “maybe I should have done this earlier or not at all”.
This got me into situations like having to recover from burnout because I didn’t say “NO” to a project I didn’t want to take on or having to navigate divorce because I was too scared about what other people would think if I broke up with that guy.
But if you know my story, you know that I fully recovered from burnout, that I left my previous relationship and found the love of my life, that I started my own podcast, wrote a book, moved abroad, started my own business and so much more. All based on me trusting myself.
All the uplevels, the turn for the better, are based on that. And it is a core focus in my coaching practice too. The one problem all of my clients share, no matter which life situation they are coming from, is that they don’t trust themselves.
Whether that is in their pursuit to build a side hustle and turn it into a lucrative business. In writing a novel. Picking up a new hobby. Getting into a good exercise routine. Landing their dream job. Finding their partner for life. Becoming a people leader. Scaling their business or making it evergreen. Moving abroad.
They all thought at first they weren’t able to do this because of xyz reasons. They all had the excuse-finder self-sabotage type to hide away the real issue here: self-doubt.
I can confirm all of these clients have reached their goals since or during our time together. And the main thing we focused on whether directly or indirectly, was to re-build their trust in themselves. And there’re 4 main focus areas to go about this which I want to share with you as well as some very specific action steps for each that will help you regain that trust and to use that to lead and live your best life your way.
This btw is the key. However Tiffany next door is living her life got nothing to do with you. Her way ain’t your way because you are two completely different people. Even if you maybe have a similar upbringing, or maybe you both have gone through similar challenges, whatever the similarities are, you still are hugely different and have different ideas of life, varying definitions of what success means to each of you, different preferences of how you want to live your life and run your business. Which is why it’s important to create your own roadmap and follow your own intuition to go your own way.
But side-rant aside, let’s dive into the 4 focus areas that will help you to re-build self-trust and become your best self!
First up: Your mindset!
This is your starting point and where you consciously kick-off this journey. What we would be looking at here is to first figure out how you’re holding yourself back with limiting beliefs. For example you might be thinking “Oh my idea is not good enough”, “someone else already did it so there’s no point for me in trying”, “only people who have or do X can do this or have success” “i don’t have what it takes” and so on. This is you giving up on yourself before even trying. Why? Because you don’t wanna be disappointed in case you might fail. But you don’t know that. And I can tell you you right now and here that only if you never even try or give up after the first fail - that’s when you actually failed. If you stay persistent, one way or another you will eventually see the fruit of your labour.
So it’s important to create a mental shift in your way of thinking, to get you to more of a growth and positive mindset. For this to happen, first you need to know your limiting beliefs. You can take my free quiz linked in the description box below to find out your self-sabotage type. Then we get to shifting. That’s not only happening in your mind but also your actions. Your brain needs to SEE you doing things differently otherwise you can think new thoughts as much as you like. We need hard proof.
Which leads to step 2: action taking.
Do the scary thing, push yourself gently outside your comfort zone and teach yourself that you can do new things or hard things. By consistently taking steps towards your goals, you build evidence of your capability and reliability. Start with small, manageable actions to gain momentum and confidence. Each completed task, no matter how minor, reinforces your trust in your ability to achieve your larger objectives. Action creates progress, and progress builds self-trust.
So ask yourself right now, what is one thing you have been putting off out of fear of not being good enough maybe?
Have you always been wanting to be a guest on a podcast? Reach out to the host.
Are you scared you will trip over your own words when you go live? Go live with a script for only two minutes.
Do you doubt people will buy your offers even though you know they work? Go and sell in your stories today.
They key here is to start small and to start somewhere. We’re not looking for perfection or immediate results. We’re looking for creating familiarity with the unknown to build that self trust that you can go there.
But what do we mean with “there”, like go “where”? This is where we look at step 3: leadership.
And for this part I want to share some questions with you to ponder on ok?
What matters most to you?
What is your vision and big goal in life and business?
What are you willing to take a stand for? And why?
These questions will help you to unlock your endgoal, your vision and they will also tell you the compass aka your values that will guide you there. If freedom is your core value, how can you embrace a life that will honour exactly that? This way you trust your own inner compass that will without doubt lead to your most fulfilled life. Because everything you do is in alignment with who you are at your core, and no one elses.
And that brings us to the last focus area: wellbeing
You most likely can’t do any of these things if you don’t have the energy. To be at your best, and to venture outside your comfort zone, you need to be charged up. I also like to see in this way: wellbeing is selfcare, selfcare is selfrespect, selfrespect is selflove, and selflove is self trust.
Taking care of yourself and your mental, spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing will provide you with the resources you need to keep on going. If you keep on going you will continue to build self trust because you have the energy to deal with challenges, to be at your best in your next discovery call with a client, to be vibrant in the next live. People will feel that and they are drawn to it.
So, my action tip here is: Do something today that fills your own cup and makes you feel like you could take on the world or just refreshed and ready for the day.
And, and this is very important, keep your promises to yourself. Take full responsibility, ownership and leadership of your own transformation and you will build new levels of selftrust to do your own thing. Taking action in any of these areas will shift your focus away from anyone else and back to yourself and what you can do to make it happen.
If you want more tips and tricks on how to bridge the gap between your current and best self, and therefore create more selftrust so you can live your life to the max, then I highly recommend you to grab a copy of my book “And There She Goes Her Way”.
