Next-level Self-awareness: know your personal bottleneck

Hey there, visionary leaders and aspiring trailblazers!

I get you, navigating in this fast-paced world can be tricky, and on top of that finding that sweet spot of life-work balance, growing your mindset, and staying true to yourself whilst maybe juggling which fruit you want to have today as your 1/5 a day and talking to your friend on the phone who doesn’t know which haircut to get. You want to do it all, and all of it well. It can all feel like an uphill climb already, but imagine you add to that beating yourself up because you can’t stick to that new self-care routine, or shaming yourself for eating that triple chocolate cookie and then punishing yourself with an extra walk on the treadmill. Because you are already down, you shout at your friend and then sink into your sofa thinking why everything has to be so hard, why can’t you just get a grip on things?

If any of this resonates, first up, let’s do a quick exercise; sit straight in your chair, feet on the ground, your hands nice and relaxed in your lap. Now lift your arms and wrap them around your torso and touch your back. Give it a squeeze and say to yourself: “It’s ok, I’m human, this is normal”. Then take a deep breath, and come back to reading this article.

Done?

Nice! You just practiced self-compassion in the face of realising how you might be sabotaging yourself and therefore allowing negative heavy emotions to enter your life. These emotions are caused by your saboteurs, and whenever you experience them you now know: Oh! My saboteur is back, how interesting”.

In this article, I want to dive a little deeper into the 8 most common self-sabotage types I could see from working with clients, in myself, in friends and family, strangers around me, and especially in the show “Selling Sunset”!

Why? Because understanding and overcoming them can propel you towards a fulfilling life and empower you from within to be at your best. Imagine being in a flow state, but make it your default mode!

So here is a nice overview of all the types so you can get a first glimpse and understanding of them. However, if you want to find out more about YOUR personal type, this short but insightful quiz is for you.

Perfectionist:
The Perfectionist self-sabotage type is characterized by an unrelenting pursuit of flawlessness in all aspects of life. Their main drive is to achieve impeccable results and meet sky-high standards. However, this quest for perfection often leads to excessive self-criticism, procrastination, and a fear of failure. Perfectionists may struggle with work-life balance and have difficulty celebrating their achievements due to a constant focus on minor flaws. Overcoming perfectionism involves setting realistic goals, embracing imperfections, and practicing self-compassion.

People Pleaser:
The People Pleaser self-sabotage type is driven by a strong desire to gain approval and avoid conflict. They tend to prioritize others' needs and opinions over their own, often neglecting their own well-being. People Pleasers struggle with setting boundaries, asserting themselves, and making decisions that align with their values. This can lead to burnout, resentment, and a lack of authentic self-expression. Overcoming this type involves cultivating self-awareness, learning to say no when necessary, and prioritizing self-care and self-advocacy.

Excuse-Finder:
The Excuse-Finder self-sabotage type tends to make excuses and find ways to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They may procrastinate, skip tasks, or drop commitments due to fear of failure or a lack of motivation. This pattern can result in missed opportunities, a lack of progress, and a negative impact on personal and professional growth. Overcoming this type involves developing self-discipline, holding oneself accountable, and cultivating a growth mindset to embrace challenges as learning opportunities.

Victim Player:
The Victim Player self-sabotage type adopts a victim mentality, perceiving themselves as helpless and blaming external circumstances for their setbacks. They may resist taking ownership of their choices and allow themselves to be controlled by circumstances. This mindset can hinder personal growth, resilience, and the ability to overcome obstacles. Overcoming this type requires shifting to an empowered mindset, practicing self-accountability, and developing a proactive approach to problem-solving.

Overthinker:
The Overthinker self-sabotage type is characterized by excessive rumination, analyzing situations from all angles, and getting stuck in a cycle of indecision. Overthinkers tend to worry about making the wrong choices, which can lead to procrastination and missed opportunities. They may struggle with taking decisive action and may experience heightened stress and anxiety. Overcoming this type involves embracing a growth mindset, trusting intuition, and practicing mindfulness to cultivate clarity and make confident decisions.

Analyser:
The Analyser self-sabotage type is characterized by an excessive focus on gathering information, analyzing details, and seeking certainty before taking action. They may struggle with making decisions due to fear of making mistakes or facing unknown outcomes. Analyzers can become stuck in a cycle of over-analysis, leading to missed opportunities and a lack of progress. Overcoming this type involves embracing a balance between analysis and action, trusting intuition, and adopting a mindset of learning from experiences rather than seeking perfection.

Overdoer:
The Overdoer self-sabotage type is driven by an intense need to prove their worth through constant busyness and achievement. They may take on an excessive workload, neglect self-care, and struggle to delegate tasks. Overdoers may experience burnout, stress, and a lack of work-life balance. To overcome this type, it's important to prioritize self-care, set boundaries, and cultivate a healthy perspective on productivity and achievement. Finding fulfillment beyond accomplishments and allowing for rest and relaxation are key steps towards breaking free from overdoing.

Critic:
The Critic self-sabotage type is characterized by a relentless inner voice that criticizes oneself and others. They may have high standards and be quick to find faults or flaws in themselves and those around them. Critics can struggle with self-acceptance, fostering healthy relationships, and celebrating achievements. Overcoming this type involves practicing self-compassion, challenging negative self-talk, and focusing on strengths and progress rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings. Developing a more balanced and constructive approach to self-evaluation and offering feedback is crucial for growth and well-being.

Identifying your self-sabotage type is the first step towards transformation. By acknowledging and addressing these patterns, you can cultivate a positive mindset, overcome obstacles, and unlock your full potential. Embrace self-compassion, self-awareness, and proactive strategies to break free from self-sabotage and create a life of fulfillment and success!

Take the first step now and take the quiz to find out your type!

If you have questions, don’t hesitate to start a conversation, more than happy to have a chat and share some expert tips and tricks with you on how to overcome your saboteur.

With love & gratitude

Josi